I have been studying the life of Rebekah in the book of Genesis and I have gleaned a great deal from her story--both good and bad. As a woman, wife and mother she displays characteristics worthy of emulation, but also some that were destructive to her family as well as to herself.
In her early years, Rebekah's portrait is that of a woman living her life and waiting on God for what her future would bring. She appears neither desperate nor hurried to find a man to marry, nor is she striving to find fulfillment in things that have no eternal value. God is faithful to bring her a loving husband on a day that she is simply going about her own business, doing the things that were common for a woman of her time.
Later in her life, however, Rebekah is painted in such a way that reveals a destructive side to her behavior: she is manipulative and unwilling to find contentment in the circumstances of her life. First she assists Jacob in stealing Esau's God-given birthright which results in a bitter division between the brothers (Genesis 27)and then she tells Issac:
"I am weary of my life because of the daughters of Heth; if Jacob takes a wife of the daughters of Heth, like these who are the daughters of the land, what good will my life be to me?"
Next Issac sends Jacob away for his safety and also to find a suitable wife, which leads to Jacob's labor of 14 years in exchange for a wife and possibly being away from his mother for more than 20 years. I wonder if this is what Rebekah had in mind when she set out to "fix" her circumstances. Did she look back on her decision and see her error? Did she regret stepping out in front of God and forcing a situation to happen? My guess would be "yes" because I tend to regret it when I do it.
Right now my life holds a few sets of circumstances that don't feel quite right--they are like a too-tight pair of jeans. My nature is to fix things, to make things happen (quietly, of course), and create circumstances that feel better. But apparently, since I can't seem to get away from the story of Rebekah, God has other plans for me.
My life these days is full of change. I don't like change. I don't like the unknown. I like to know what the next day, next week, next year, will being my way. I like to be prepared.
I need to be careful that I don't start to manipulate things. I need to walk in what each new day brings for me, and for my family. I need to let God do the leading and directing, and keep my own hands out of the mix. I don't want to be like Rebekah and take matters into my own hands and end up with circumstances worse than those that I am starting with.
Trusting God with my life.
Sometimes it is easier to say the words that it is to live them out.
I am resting in the fact that God will lead me to the place He wants me to be. He will complete the work that He has started and He will be all that I need.
The hardest things for me to know is that God has my best in mind also. Even though it doesn't feel like it sometimes.
Trusting in Him...
