Lately I have been thinking about the idea of "weakness". I do know that God has been teaching me a lot about this, but it's almost like the more I learn, the more the questions come up.
***Why do I have so many weaknesses?
***Is it me, or are they multiplying?
***Why do I feel so insecure at times?
***Does everyone feel like this?
In this, I also wonder if the weaknesses are actually a gift---like a vehicle that drives me to my God. I do know that my biggest time of growth and change, and my best time of connection with God has been during times of difficulty, and much has been revealed as I have learned to be more honest with myself about who I am and what I struggle with.
MY grace is all you need. MY power works best in weakness. 2 Corinthians 12:9
See what I mean?
It's like we are supposed to be weak, so that HE can show HIMSELF strong within us.
This verse does not say that GOD will make me strong. It says that in my weakness, HE is shown strong. There is a big differnence in those two ideas. They actually oppose each other.
I am going to be honest here...
Lately I have a bit of a struggle with going to church. Over the last 10+ years I have wandered from church to church, enjoying each one for a while, and then leaving when things start to feel uncomfortable---usually right about the time I start feeling "at home". Now, I know where this all stems from. I was part of a very rough church situation a number of years ago where, to be honest, I almost walked away from God. What was left of my relationship with HIM after it was all over, was the tiniest thread, but I will say that my GOD is really good at holding onto tiny threads.
Only HIS grip on me kept me with HIM.
Now, many years later, those feelings and fears like to show themselves whenever I feel good about where I am fellowshipping, and generally when I am ready to get more involved.
Hmmm....sounds a little suspicious to me, don't you think?
But no matter where the struggle stems from, the weakness is mine.
My GOD promises to show HIMSELF strong on my behalf. So, I choose to trust HIM.
Last week on Sunday I was having a great quiet time, writing down all kinds of cool things that I needed to keep in mind at church, and verses to hold onto. But unfortunately I crashed and burned before I could even get into the shower to get ready. Looking back I realize that all of those assurances were about me. I forgot that the main thing that GOD has for me right now is to trust HIM in everything. There is no need to strengthen myself with words of power and ability...it's HIS power and ability that will propel me forward and truly walk me through the problem.
It sounds so freeing to just get up and go to church on Sunday without all of the weird feelings!
So, at this point I am focusing on the fact that I don't have to rely on me. This is all GOD'S job. HE wants me to lay down my reliance on myself, and depend fully on HIM.
What an incredible amount of pressure that takes off of me.
Such relief!
Have a lovely day, friends!
Ahhhhh, it sounds VERY suspicious! Whenever you are ready to get more involved in a fellowship where you'll be blessing others with your gifts and talents, it sounds like the enemy is quick to throw doubts and questions in your mind causing you to step back. Why? Because he knows you have a story to tell that will strengthen and encourage others, so he's more than willing to break you down using areas he knows you are weak in.
Remind yourself who you are in Christ AND "be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might" (Eph 6:10)!
Blessings,
Tammy ~@~
Posted by: Tammy | January 08, 2015 at 02:44 PM