I have big hair. Lots and lots of blonde, incredibly curly, big hair. And by blonde, I mean bottled. With Grey Magic added in to cover the ravages of 50 years of life showing their frosty white tendrils trying to accent a few crows feet. Or laugh lines, depending on your outlook.
I have always been a little afraid of my hair. It's so unruly. It has a mind of it's own. Without a lot of hair products worked into it, it becomes a frizzy unbelievable "finger in a light socket" disaster. It is a lot of work to find the right stylist, find the right cut, find the right products and not fall into a rut. Those of you with straight hair often look at me wistfully and wish you could have my hair. I look at your hair that seems so versatile and free flowing and with so many options, and I wish I could have your hair.
When I was 8, my parents got divorced. My dad took me to get my passport photo so that I could travel to Ireland to stay with my grandparents. I had lovely shoulder length dirty blonde hair. Right after the photo he took me to some sort of a haircut place and had it all chopped off into short poodle curls. And off I went to a foreign country, new
passport but a whole identity stripped away. A, seemingly, cold hearted father chopping off my hair and walking out of
my life. Again, outlook.
My dad was wounded too.
For the past 5 years I have let my hair get longer and longer. Stressful and painful circumstances, tight on resources, loss of interest, laziness whatever. My hair was long, way past my shoulders, down to below the middle of my back. And it was making me CRAZY!!! I was always pulling on it accidentally, grandbaby girl was learning how to yank on it. It was hurting!
I finally took a look in the mirror and realized, "What am I trying to
prove?". I went in and let my amazing stylist cut a large amount of length off and layer
it.
So freeing. I could breathe. As I looked at the curls, which I had taken to just pulling back in a boring ponytail, I let go of and said goodbye to an old wound. Once and for all. My identity
is in my King, My Father God who loves me.
In a couple of weeks we're having a party for my 50th birthday. It's an 80's dance party and everyone has to come dressed for the 80's. I still have enough hair to do some seriously big hair and I am going for it big time. I will dress in some sort of neon clothing and I will dance to lots and lots of my favorite songs from the 80's. I will laugh with my friends and family and eat BBQ and potluck and be delighted with how many young people
are in my life. Lots of amazing kiddos are coming to my party.
Over the next couple of weeks, I'm looking back on 50 years of life and I'm saying, Hasta Finito, Baby. That chapter is over. I'm looking forward and saying, "My future is so bright, I gotta wear shades." No more identity crisis, over my hair or anything else. I know who I am and I know where I'm going. And it looks good. I may even chop some more of my hair off.
I've got plenty to spare.
I know this post is a bit long. I'm turning 50 though. I figure ya'll will cut me some slack. I pray that you find those places where you can 'chop off some hair' and find your true identity in your
Daddy God!
"I know who I am and I know where I'm going. And it looks good."
You know it, girl! God has a future for you that is full of hope, freedom and joy. Day by day, you just need to grab hold of it and live in it.
Love you bunches!
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