"There are two kinds of people in this world: those who focus on what they want, always desiring it and never attaining it, and those who focus on what it takes to obtain what they want. The latter do the work, delay gratification, make sacrifices, and ultimately get the rewards of their work."
from the book Boundaries in Marriage
I have lots of work ahead of me, I can tell.
There are times in a marriage, when things seem to come to a head. The old ways of doing things are not working and inevitably, you start peering at the other person, wondering what their problem is. To be honest, my hubs and I are in this place.
No, we are not separating or anything like that, it is just that the day to day seems a little bit, shall we say, rough. Like a whole bunch of work is required to make this ship sail.
This is the part of marriage that can feel so weighty and hard.
I have a notebook that I write in on most days and lately it is filled with marriage advice from the book above and also with scriptures that are helping to keep me focused.
My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.
It is when life is weighty and hard that God is really at work.
Doing my 30-Day Shred yesterday I realized that some of the things the trainer was saying are applicable to what I am dealing with right now:
No pain, no gain.
If you can't feel the stress and your breathing isn't hard, you aren't making progress.
Don't wimp out.
Just two more. You may feel like you are dying right now, but just give me two more.
Just two more.
That feels like my mantra lately. And I know it will be for a while. Old habits die hard, as they say, and it is going to take to work to get rid of them.
Don't quite know why I am sharing this today. I like to keep my blog a bit more upbeat. I do know that I wouldn't mind your prayers. I also know that lots of people feel this way and I want you to know you are not alone. Every marriage has it's ups and downs, and being on the downslope is scary. Changing is scary. Humility is scary.
But if you stick with the work that it takes to make necessary changes, things will look brighter soon. Very soon.
Let's all hang in there!