Life feels very grown-up these days. So many changes upcoming, things aren't seeming simple right now. In January both of my oldest girls will be moving out on their own within a week of each other. The closer it gets, the sadder it seems to me.
I keep thinking that this will be our last family Christmas, as we have known Christmas for 20 years now. Sure, we will be together in the years to come, but not in the same way. Who knows, maybe the future holds even better things, but saying good-bye to certain things will be hard. Very hard.
I see this same struggle in my girl's lives. The problems of childhood are behind them and the struggles of adulthood have arrived. Life seemed simpler a few years ago to them. The hard part, as their mom, is not being able to make things alright for them with a hug and a kiss anymore. They need to work through the choices and problems that come up, and I need to trust God to lead them. Not an easy task.
I took one of my daughters to Denver this weekend to visit a college and tour the area for houses and apartments. All it took for me was to drive into the colleges parking garage and I had tears in my eyes. How can it be that this day has arrived already. You don't understand the speed of these years until you are so close to the end of them. I feel liked I blinked and my girls became women.
Don't get me wrong, life is good and holds many blessings every single day. I smile a lot and laugh. I am consistently amazed that God has allowed me to be a mother to my girls and that we have made it through to the end relatively unscathed. Their lives hold much promise and I am so excited to see who they become, what they decide to do with their lives. But in all honesty, I will also say that I am not looking forward to them leaving. Not one bit.
I am not sure why I am even writing this here today. It feels way too gloomy and depressing to be on this page today, but writing some of this out helps to clear my head and gets me focused again. I need that.
Tomorrow things will be brighter, I am sure. But for today, my heart is just a little bit heavy. My babies have grown up and are ready to leave my nest.
Ah, how I love my nest just the way it is....